Personal
by mint-choc-chip amethyst
Summary: Everyone at Hollywood Arts knows Jade West. She's the cold-hearted bitch who is obsessed with scissors and scares even the teachers. But no one has ever bothered to ask why she is who she is. This is her story.


**Hey guys, I'm back! This is a new story I've been thinking about writing for a while now, and I mentioned it in my previous story, When Things Go Wrong. I know many people have done stories about Jade's childhood, but mine is pretty different from all others that I have seen. I hope you enjoy it and please review. I always want to hear your input and how you feel about my story. I'm going away to Devon today so the next chapter won't be up until next week- soz! **

**Peace out and dance around to Christmas Songs!**

**XX**

* * *

Epilogue

Jade's POV

I slam the door behind me and lean against it, slowly sliding down to greet the cold, hard floor. I tilt my head back and blink furiously, but to no avail. The first drop trickles down my cheek and gets caught in the corner of my lips, the saltiness spreading throughout my mouth. The second one follows swiftly, this time falling to the floor, reflecting the light in a spectrum of colours. Pulling my legs towards me, I try to stop my bandaged heart from shattering again. Sobs wrack my body, and it takes all I have to keep quiet. How can she be here? After all she's done to me, all that she has put me through, I thought I had finally escaped her. I don't want to go through it all again. I finally feel like I fit in somewhere, and have friends that like me for being me, not because I'm close to her.

I furiously rub my eyes with my sleeve, the rough cotton chafing my skin. The shirt is black already, so no one will notice the mascara stains. I slowly stand up, holding onto the door handle for support. I carefully open the door of the janitor's cupboard, inch by inch. There she is, just as I remember her. Her long, thick, glossy hair, that small beauty spot at the end of her nose and an easy smile. Surrounded by **my **friends, who all seem to be her BFFs already. I guess some things never change. She's the exact opposite of me. I feel my throat close up again and tears threaten to come out. I try to pull myself together. Jade West never cries. At least not anymore.

Flinging the door open, I put on my fake persona and hide the wreck of a person that hides beneath. It's showtime. I stride past the large group with her at the centre of it. No one gives me a second glance. They're all too infatuated with her. She's telling a joke, which Tori and Beck are laughing at; Cat's holding out some candy from her bra as a special present; Robbie is gazing adoringly from a distance, and Andre is frantically trying to think up a song to sing in order to earn her attention.

'Move out of MY WAY!' I scream at an innocent bystander, and brandish my scissors in his direction. He squeals in fear and, in his haste to run away, trips flat on his face. I aim a kick at his curled up, quivering frame, producing another whimper. **Now** they all go silent, watching me. I shove open the entrance doors of Hollywood Arts and walk out. That will show her I've changed, that I can't be pushed around anymore. It doesn't make me feel any better though, and I try hard not to break into a run. I can feel all their eyes on me. However, as soon as I am out of sight, I sprint as fast as I can towards my car.

I blink and suddenly I'm at home, sitting cross legged on my bed. I don't even remember driving home. I've run out of tears; all that I'm left with is a killer headache, but I can't concentrate on that or on anything else- my heart hurts too much. I stumble into the bathroom, half blind with pain, and grab the medication chest. I rest my head against the cool mirror, and fill a glass from the tap. I take two aspirin and swallow them down with water. Back in the bedroom, I switch off the lights and curl up under my bed, not bothering to change my clothes. Hopefully sleep will give me relief from the thoughts and questions whizzing around my head. I can't deal with it all now.

* * *

I slowly rise back into consciousness, and blearily open my eyes. It's still dark, and the moon is shining brightly through the window, wrapped in a blue velvet cape that is the sky. I forgot to close the blinds earlier. The little green numbers on my clock state that the time is 4:12. A sharp pain by my waist brings me back to the reason why I woke up; my belt is cutting into me. After taking it off, I have a few more blissful seconds of freedom before everything comes crashing back down, and the events of yesterday are clear in my mind again. Suddenly the sky doesn't look so inviting anymore, it makes me feel claustrophobic. Luckily my headache has gone, but that just makes me focus more on the throbbing pain in my heart. I can't stay still, tiredness has left me and I feel wide awake. I sit up, jump off the bed and start pacing the floor. Should I just ignore her? Should I speak to her? Should I change school? Thousands of thoughts are whirling through my mind, only this time, I can't ignore them.

As I near the door, I see the corner of a white piece of card shoved under it. On it, written in a cursive hand;

Jadelyn,

Your school called and said that you had missed this afternoon's lessons, again. This is unacceptable. We need to talk in the morning.

There was no signature, but it was obvious who it was from; there's only one other person who lives in this house- Dad. Great, just great. More shit to add to the fast growing pile. At least one decision has been made for me; Dad said that the next time I skived from school he was going to take me out of Hollywood Arts. I don't know if he actually means that, but at the moment I really don't care, it would make things a lot simpler.

My feet start to wander towards the wardrobe like there is a magnetic force at work. To hell with it all, it's not like I can hurt anymore than I am already. I pull open the doors and start rummaging around. I dig past shoes, old clothes, soft toys I'll never I admit I own, until I find a purple, shoebox size wooden box. On the lid is written 'J and S'. I sit with my legs curled under me, and take a deep breath. A small voice inside me asks if I'm sure I want to do this, if I'm sure that I'm ready to bring all the memories up again. It's too late for that though, after seeing her today I can't think of anything else. I lift the lid up and start to sift through the contents. Under the pile of photos, half crumpled notes and broken friendship bracelets is a book. I flick through the well worn, dog-eared pages until I found the one I want.

_August 30th_

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm so excited for school tomorrow! I can't wait to see everyone again, especially Sarah. She only got back from France yesterday so I haven't seen her since the very beginning of the holidays- that's like forever! I bought her and me matching friendship bracelets- she lost the last one! I can't believe that this is my last year of middle school- then we'll all be off to high school! It's gonna be so scary! Anyway, got to go now,_

_Love Jade XX_


End file.
